(36” x 36”) Oil on canvas 2019

In this painting, I sought to capture the profound experience of my kundalini awakening, an intense, mystical spiritual transformation that changed my life forever. This piece has a special place in my heart because it was made when my awakening took place. I had some of the most incredible synchronicities throughout the painting process that I will document below.

My initial idea was to incorporate something with the attributes of Mercury in astrology. I had been experiencing a really bad monkey mind and thought I might as well begin a painting with this as a central theme. I began researching everything that had to do with mercurial attributes.

I first came across a series of synchronicities before I even began this painting, but it was totally unbeknown to me at the time. The first that initiated everything was when I felt called to read a book called "The Kybalion" that supposedly claimed to be based on the teachings of Hermes Mercurius Tristmegistus. I was enamored by the book. It was soon after I decided to make my next painting mercurial based, thus my research took off. While researching, I came across a symbol that captured my attention and found out it was the staff the deities Hermes and Mercury carry. It was the Caduceus, and also happened to be connected to awakening the kundalini, a mysterious, mystical experience that the ancient sages and mystics went through.

I remember coming across this a few years wondering if it could have been a cause to back pain I was experiencing, but I didn't want to have my hopes high for something I had no proof over. It also made me a little uneasy based on other's experiences I came across and it seemed to be magical thinking. Regardless, I had an image in my mind with how I wanted to implement this symbol in my painting. I even felt called to add a sort of pranayama exercise at the end of my yoga practice. This particular practice I began was associated raising the kundalini, which I didn't know at the time. I just knew I wanted to practice it daily, so I did.

I continued working on the painting and had added other things such as the Chaos Star intertwined with the Caduceus. It represents scattered energy, limitless possibilities, unpredictability, and shifting paradigms. I felt it corresponded with the mercurial monkey mind theme I had at the time. Little did I know people also use this symbol to manifest things in their life through a concept called chaos magic. I'm more careful with what I put on a canvas now because I do believe there can be some shamanic element to art in general based on my and other artist's experiences.

In addition, I added the sun and moon at the top of the canvas to represent alchemy and its association with Hermes/Mercury. I made the man my own depiction of those deities as well. I also added the Hermetic phrase "Vt Supra" at the top and "Sin Infra" at the bottom, which means "As above, so below" in Latin. I then implemented the Hand of Mysteries since I felt it would make a meaningful contribution to this painting. The concept behind it is based on the process of apotheosis, the transformation of a human into a god or higher state of being. It represents an invitation to secret knowledge and the unlocking of one's potential.

Furthermore, while I was studying a new topic in vedic astrology, I came across the concept of what is known as the atmakaraka (also known as the soul planet). While doing calculations to see what planet it was, I remember thinking to myself, wouldn't it be funny if the planet happened to be Mercury? And lo and behold, it was Mercury!

Then some days before Easter, I was making a vision board on things I wanted to accomplish for the year. I was sifting through magazines to find images to cut out, and saw the Caduceus in there for a medical ad. I never paid much attention to it being the medical symbol at the time, and thought it was interesting how I found it in a fashion magazine of all places. I knew I had to cut it out, and so I did and pasted it right next to a girl meditating in lotus position with what looked like energy flowing out of her head. It was just supposed to be a bit of a decorated, abstract collage of things I was attracted to and would like to get more in touch with. I then pinned it near my bed so I could look at it before falling asleep.

The week before Easter, I also started meditating, which I've always had a difficult time with in the past, but something in me really wanted to start making it a regular practice. And while meditating, an idea sprung up in my mind to celebrate Easter by going to a Buddhist center to meditate. I haven't celebrated that holiday since I was a child, and figured this would be my version of celebrating it. Yet, on Good Friday, I remember feeling an energy surge, like an electric current up my spine that felt very painful. I didn't know what that was, and believed I must have been sitting incorrectly to be experiencing this weird back pain. It was getting uncomfortable and when I stopped, the energy dissipated. I then approached meditation again on Easter morning, and felt the same surge again. I stopped meditating, and the energy dissipated once more.

Then I finally made it to the Buddhist center for the first time in my life, and during our meditation session, I felt the energy surge again. But this time, after the meditation session was done, the energy didn't dissipate and kept intensifying up my spine. I was in so much pain, I really wanted to leave early but sat through the rest of the sangha. After the Buddhist center, I went to get something to eat and then drove home. I remember all I had the energy for was to rest on my bed. I figured the energy would settle down if I got some rest, but it got only more intense. I then started walking around my room in circles, and nothing I did was calming this energy down.

A light bulb lit up in my head that perhaps this could be the kundalini. I googled about an electric energy up the spine while meditating, and the first information that came up was about a kundalini awakening. The energy was stuck at my heart center, and I never knew the energy could get stuck along the spine before the awakening would happen. I remember being in disbelief because I knew this was going to be a very trying time in my life, but I was willing to do anything to make this go as smoothly as possible. I laid in bed all night as the energy was getting so intense I couldn't sleep. I remember praying for the first time in a long time pleading for a way to sleep, and in a few minutes I was able to to find a position on my side where the energy completely vanished. Yet, if I moved an inch, it would immediately shoot back up my spine again. I was in awe at how something like this could happen.

The next few weeks were spent meditating on my heart center in order to unblock the energy so it could rise up. Eventually, I had the awakening on my sister's birthday, after telling her that I was likely going to experience a spiritual awakening sometime soon, I just didn't know when. When it happened, it was the most profoundly liberating experience I've ever had. Words cannot even describe it all, and I won't even attempt to in honor of the sacrednes of this deeply transformative experience.

I then added some more finishing touches, such as the song coming out of the Hermes' ear, which was a song in Sanskrit I was obsessing over at the time. It was an old song called Govinda by The Radha Krishna Temple, and even though it is a song praising Krishna, I added the guitar music notes from this booklet I bought online that contained the music composition so I could add in the exact musical notes. I was obsessed qith the song at the time and was playing it over and over again for weeks. It was also the last song I heard the day I had my kundalini awakening. I remember getting incredibly dizzy earlier that day, and felt that if I continued playing it, I was going to end up having this awakening right then and there. So I stopped it, and later that night, I had it.

Because Christ consciousness is connected to the spiritual experience I had, I became interested in the mystical side of Christianity by exploring Gnosticism a bit. Specifically on the Hand of Mysteries, I made the eye in the middle of the palm with fish-styled eyeliner to illustrate the ichthys, the fish symbol of Jesus. I also added a bunch of "coexist" styled symbols on the colorful swirl to symbolize the right side of the brain. The "10:10" in particular was added because it was my primary number synchronicity at the time that I saw during my kundalini awakening, which was also linked to another catalyst that helped activate this event. I added the mantra "Sat nam" in Sanskrit as a tattoo on Hermes' wrist, which means "Truth is my identity." It was a mantra I repeated while practicing the specific kundalini yoga exercise I was doing at the time

Finally, I added the crystals at the bottom as blue and orange complimentary colors to symbolize duality in alchemy. I even painted unalome Buddhist symbols at the bottom as they represent the path to enlightenment. I lastly added the tarot cards on the side to symbolize my kundalini experience. I felt The Tower, Death, Judgement , and The Magician cards were the the perfect cards to describe my experience. I made The Tower specifically with the Notre Dame catching on fire because it was nearly a week before Easter when my  kundalini activation occured. I saw it as something significant to me and my awakening, like a warning of sorts.

Overall, this painting is a commemoration of awakening. I wanted to convey a message of remembrance of our divine nature as human beings, honor the kundalini energy within all of us, and stir a shift in higher consciousness. I want others to understand that the path to self-discovery and spiritual enlightenment is not only possible, but also a birthright. The kundalini energy when awakened can lead to profound insights, healing, and a deeper connection to the divine. This painting is not just a recollection of my own experience, but also an invitation for others to reclaim their own divinity. All in all, I hope people explore their inner landscapes and recognize the sacred energy that flows within them.